boundaries as an act of self care

When my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer, my every waking moment was spent reading, researching and talking about treatments, clinical trials, foods to eat, potions to drink and all things bad to avoid.

Hour after hour of endless website scrolling, and joining information groups on caring for a loved one with a terminal diagnosis, left my body in a constant state of grief, anxiety and panic.

It dawned on me one day, that it was OK to have a space for myself where the cancer wasn’t given access and where it was not spoken of. Somewhere I could feel safe and could think my own thoughts without focusing on what cancer was taking away from me.

The decision to implement a few emotional boundaries was hard to do but it helped me to keep cancer stories in the light of day where I felt stronger, more resilient and less vulnerable and it meant that I could protect my well-being.

It also enabled me to support and care for my husband at times when he needed it the most without running the risk of burnout or fatigue.

It goes without saying that caring for a loved one is hard work and the decision to prioritise self-care can bring up feelings of guilt; however, the need to safeguard and look after ourselves is essential in being able to go through the long and tiring journey of cancer.

Boundaries are an essential part of self-care that many people struggle with, but this boundary gave me the space to breathe, to be still and to gather my scattered senses, for a little while at least.

Remember, an empty cup never quenched anyone’s thirst, so if you’re in a difficult journey, it’s never too late to begin offering care to yourself.